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The all-inclusive, ever-changing, and uncomfortably flexible guide to all things music in the 2010's.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Greatest Songs of 2011: #45: Battles - "Ice Cream"

Somebody get this guy some ice cream! This man is clearly mentally ill and in such desperate need for ice cream that he keeps repeating it to everyone in English and Spanish. “Give me melting ice cream!” go his screams. Somebody should help him! Oh god look, he’s assembling a band. He’s got a drummer, a bassist, a guitarist and a keyboardist. This can’t be good. Somebody quickly find some ice cream before they start-- Oh god they’ve already started playing. This song is going everywhere guys. It’s a savage cry for help don’t you hear? Somebody stop this! WHERE’S THE ICE CREAM GODDAMMIT?! These people are performing the music of the insane for ice cream and you can’t oblige? Monsters, monsters all of you! These innocents will die for your negligence! Die I say! Oh thank goodness finally someone’s brought some ice cream.
…You know, on second thought, let’s just keep the ice cream away and let them play for about four and a half more minutes. Jeff, turn on the tape recorder.  I have a great idea.


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